Hey Dolls, I hope you enjoy this random chat about expecting Mothers sign and the Ice Cream Truck !! Be sure to ‘Like” and ‘Subscribe’!!
Just sit still and smile. Smile, but don’t smile too much, too much smiling isn’t acceptable, is it?
Just nod, just nod as they talk to you, but what are you nodding to. What did they just say, and what did you response?
Just pretend, pretend like you know them. ‘Yes I remember you, I saw you once when I was a year old, but of course I do.’ This makes them happy and that is something you can give.
Just look sad, this is something you can do, because he is no longer here, and You don’t know your plan or purpose here with these people you don’t know.
Just try not to lose it, don’t stand up and yell at all the people talking about this man. This man that wasnt there for you, but they think he was the greatest man alive and you don’t recognize this person they talk about.
Just look forward, when the people around you begin to whisper. Remember, this you are use to, this has happen to you many times before. So just look forward instead of screaming at them. ‘Yes, I am real, I was born, I had no choice and if you want to know the birth order just ask I will tell because I have no shame.’ You haven’t done anything to be ashamed of, all You did was breathe.
So Just Breathe, for as long as you can, breathe and serve your purpose. His time to breathe is over, but you have to continue, you have to figure out this strange new path of emotions, of things that you didn’t think would hurt so much, but they do they hurt, they hit you at the wrong moments they make you think of so many things. Things that will never be, things that you were ok with when he was still breathing but now the lost of breathe has changed things. Things that were ok, now don’t feel ok. Now they feel wrong so now you do what you know to do you just breathe. You take it day by day, you make your list you follow your list. You remember to eat, check off your list, you cry when you need to, but you keep going you breathe, you just breathe.
So I’m at VBS and I’m sitting with my kids waiting for one of the other groups to leave. I looked up and this little boy around 9 is staring at me. I don’t think anything of it, but then he starts walking towards me and stops in front of me.
BOY: “What’s your name?!”
BOY: (whispering) “I know who you are?”
ME: “You do?”
BOY: (leaning in) “Yes and I won’t tell anyone”
(So now I’m very confused.)
BOY: “You are from ‘Inside Out’, but I won’t tell anyone”
ME: “Ok, don’t tell.”
He then smiles and walks away, and I’m still confused. 😉
The other day I was walking out of a store and this lady had a huge stuffed snake. I didn’t think anything of it, she turns and smiles at me and says
‘I never thought I would spend $40 on a stuffed snake, but it’s the only thing my son wanted for his birthday.’
I just smiled and said, ‘the things we do for tiny humans.’ Walking away from her it got me thinking, of all the crazy things I’ve done for a tiny human and I don’t even have kids (and not planing on it). But between years of being a nanny, nieces and nephews, and living with a family with young kids. I’ve done things, all in the name of love. So this childless woman has…
– Made up silly songs during bathtime.
– Read bedtime stories, with all the voices… This is very important
– Pretended to be a horse, dog, cat, dinosaur, princess, pirate, doctor, teacher and others I’m sure I have forgotten
– I’ve Emceed the first ever stuffed animal dog Olympics
– I built forts and tents and tunnels.
– I used the restroom with a kid in my lap and no I didn’t bring the kid in with me and no I didn’t pick the kid up. I was just stupid enough to not lock the door, and it went downhill from there.
– I’ve slept with a kid on my face, this I’m still not sure how it happened but we were both tired and I wasn’t going to risk waking her up.
– I’ve dance silly dances while playing follow the leader
– Cheered for those potty moments, one while a sister pretended to sprinkle fairy dust over his head and said ‘tinkle, tinkle, tinkle’. (This is still one do my favorite ones.)
– Been thrown up, peed and pooed on. Yea I couldn’t have skipped all those.
– stayed up all night with a sick child
– Went to games and cheering events, in the rain, cold and my favorite the sunny days.
– Chased a naked child, because I don’t want my clothes on and I think I can out run you.
– I’ve drank fake tea and ate the pretend cookies.
– and so on and so on….
I been told many times that I don’t understand because I don’t have kids of my own. That I couldn’t until I do, but I don’t agree with that. Parents relate to a child because the child is yours. When those of us who don’t have children relate to them. We relate out of just love. You don’t have to be a parent to know it all and to have those experiences. I choose to love children that are not my own, not because they came from my body but because I truly love them. So for those who think that just because someone hasn’t had a child they don’t understand. Think again, we understand we just understand differently, because we made a decision to. Not because of a birth connection but because we think, that kid is worth all the craziness that we do.
I get really mad when someone says that, as if understand it at all is attacked to the birth. In my live I have been a part of at least 13 kids lives for a 3 – 18 year period. Relating to kids that were not my own, so yes I understand, just not the same way you do. So now at my age I know, far more than I though I would ever know about kids without having my own. And it’s made me realize one thing, they are crazy, amazing, moody, fun, entertaining and worth having in your life. So this ‘not so childless’ women will continue to choose to love kids… But just not as a full time job again… Well maybe. 🙂